Social anxiety and the holidays

There is a time of year that I look forward to all year long. These three months are my element. October, November, and December. Sweatshirts, cocoa, pumpkins, Christmas lights, Christmas music, Christmas anything. These three months are what I look forward to when it's 110 degrees outside for the fifth day in a row. My heart twinges with excitement as the weather begins to cool down because I know what's next; October, November and December. My months. Gift giving and pumpkin pies and rainy days and the smell of the heater kicking on. I love it all. All except one thing.
This tiny little thing is a big thing to me, and as usual, my reaction to it is way above and beyond what is normal. This tiny thing is social events. As the weather cools and the wreaths get hung on doors, in pour the invitations for social events. Office parties, family potlucks, friendsgiving and heaven forbid I host ANYTHING. The mere mention of these events and my fight or flight kicks in. My immediate thought is "no no no, I'd rather curl up into a ball under a mound of blankets". We can't possibly go to these events, I want nothing to do with them. My social anxiety's nemesis is a potluck at Grandma's house.
See, when I go to these events, I kind of freak out. It's not the delicious food that intimidates me, or the holly above the door, but it's the people. The interactions that come along with being at a group gathering as well as paranoid thoughts that everyone is judging me for everything I do. "What have you been up to?" is a question I'm dreading this season because "nothing" isn't really an appropriate response, or should I tell them I've made a breakthrough in therapy? I do well at events in which I'm expected to have little to no social interactions such as a very big office party. I can sit at a table and munch on chips all day. But when people start talking to me and asking me questions, my panic button goes off.
Going to Grandma's potluck is a doozy as well. My family all gathers for a holiday and I immediately want to find an excuse to not go. The questions and feeling like everyone is judging me. Not to mention the teeter tottering into a panic attack feeling that goes along with it all. My family is nice and cordial, always sweet and kind. But inside I'm screaming and I feel like running away.
Getting together with a large group of people is difficult for many people that have a mental illness. And sometimes we tell you that we can't go because we just can't go. We just can't. I try to force myself to go to what I can. But sometimes I back out at the last minute or decline invitations because I just can't. I don't have the strength.