In rolls the tide, out rolls the tide.

Two days ago I had a wonderful day. I was motivated, I was ecstatic, I was energetic, I was talkative. I enjoyed the day and forgot what it felt like to not be so happy. It was a weird medicated version of hypomania. It lasted for the day. It was a good day.
But the aftermath isn't pretty. Slowly I can feel myself falling into a depression. My lack of motivation, happiness, contentment and pleasure in general tells me it's going to be a deep one. The world is grey. There is no end to this bad day because I wake up and feel the same, day after day. Thanks to medication it's not as bad as it should be. I should be suicidal. I should be laying in bed with the covers pulled up. I should be crying myself into oblivion.
But I'm not. The medication has taken the edge off but the pain is still there. So I grin and bear it. I push myself to be productive and complete tasks. I force myself to be social and smile even though it feels like I'm dying inside.
Two days ago I forgot what it was like to not be happy and today I can't remember what pleasure feels like. I can't remember what it's like to feel emotion. I hope it ends soon because I have shit to do.