Actually, it does define me.

I get it. I used to work with children that have autism. For years, I worked with adults that had autism as well as many other developmental disabilities. Their disability did not define them. I did not see Frank, the man with down syndrome. Instead I saw Frank, the man who enjoyed practical jokes and loved to work on the janitorial team. Linda was not Autism. Linda instead was a sweetheart who loved to hold my hand and would always offer me to come inside for tea when I dropped her off at home. These people were so much more than their diagnosis. The outside world saw them for their diagnosis, and instead of seeing them as people, they saw them for their low IQ, temper, symptoms and disorders.

But for me? I see myself as bipolar.

There is a sharp debate on whether you should say "I HAVE bipolar" or "I AM bipolar".

I do not simply have bipolar. Bipolar is not in addition to me and who I am. I am not Sarah with Bipolar. I am Bipolar Sarah.

So much of the disorder effects my mood (duh), interests, hobbies, temperament, and overall personality that it is not a simple addition to who I am. Instead, it is intertwined with who I am as a person. Without Bipolar would I be a writer? Would I be the almost comical sensitive person who is touchy and quick to startle? I don't know. I could be, I guess. I could simply be a sensitive person who is anxious all the time who enjoys writing and photography. But having bipolar has absolutely influenced my personality. It has absolutely defined where I ebb and flow, what my quirks are and what my perks are.

While working with my clients I saw past their disorder and knew that they were a person, not a diagnosis. For myself, I see past my disorder and I know that I am a person, not simply a diagnosis. However, I do see myself as massively influenced by bipolar which is why I feel that bipolar does a great deal of defining who I am as a person. I may have laid the ground work on my own, but bipolar is what has caused me to be so extreme in some areas that otherwise would not have been.

I am bipolar. I do not simply have it, like a swollen toe or asthma. Diabetes, cancer, high blood pressure are all diagnosis which are life altering but as a whole they do not effect your personality. They do not influence the way you think, the way you live, the way you act. Your diabetes does not cause you to be obsessed with a new project for days straight. High blood pressure does not cause you to become low and depressed for weeks on end.

Bipolar is a disorder of the mind. My personality comes from my mind. So of course Bipolar defines my mind. Of course it defines who I am, how I act and what I want.

I am not ONLY bipolar. I am many other things as well. But I absolutely AM bipolar. I do not simply carry it around like a purse. It influences everything about me.