My "thing"

For a while now I have been encouraged to find a thing. A "thing" that gives me an outlet, allows me to be calm, is therapeutic and productive. I have always assumed it was my writing, which is why I started this blog. I always thought my writing was what set me free. Now, of course, it does set me free in its own special way. I am able to express my thoughts and fully capture my journey with words. Writing is easy for me. It is something that does not challenge me, and while I have tried to pursue it professionally, I found that it sucked the life out of it. I get tickled pink when I see a blog post has a lot of views. But that's about it. That is about as far as I want my writing to take me. Maybe someday in the future I will want to write a novel or a play, but for now I am sticking to my little blog and the giddiness I get from the page views. And the love I get from the comments. Those are my favorite. Some have brought me to tears.

But writing is not my "thing". The thing my therapist has encouraged me to find. The thing my family has asked me to seek out. The passion filled thing that gives me a reason to wake up. A thing that I love so much and that brings me so much joy that hopefully, I can turn to it when I feel suicidial. I have read and heard that people with bipolar have a pie of wellness. 1/3 is medication. 1/3 is psychotherapy. 1/3 is self care. In that 1/3 of the pie is that "thing". Of course in self care is adequate sleep and food, and other self care items but also a "thing".

I am happy to announce that I have found my "thing". I used to swim in high school. I loved it. I wasn't a superstar but nothing compared to it. I loved the way the bubbles formed around my fingertips. I loved the way my lungs would expand and deflate. I loved the warmth my leg muscles felt. I loved the way my skin smelled. I loved the way I felt after I swam. My body felt strong and powerful. I loved it.

I am 30 years old now. I haven't swam for well over 10 years. I was inspired by a friend to seek out a way to get back in the pool. I found a program that offers 9 1-hour swim sessions a week. My schedule allows for only 6, sometimes 7. I have been doing it for a week now and I love it.

It is every other day but it has become as important to me as therapy and my medication. My "thing" is swimming. Two times a day, three times a week, I am in the pool. I absolutely love it. I feel free. I wish I could swim more.

I have found my "thing". :-)